Teacher humor: Kids Are Quick

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:     Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:        Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’ .
TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong.
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE:     Me!
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TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE:         I is…
TEACHER:    No, Millie…Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE:         All right…’I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’     

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TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.   
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:     No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER:    Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :       No, sir. It’s the same dog.
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TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:   A teacher.

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